I Am Sooo Happy For You......Really?

       Happy Tuesday Monsters.  Today we are going to focus on joy and happiness. No not your joy and happiness but others joy. Yup I am asking you to step out of your little bubble and take a look at the lives of those around you, your friends, your family, your co-workers, etc. Are they happy? Are they enjoying life? Are they celebrating something. Bigger question, are you celebrating with them? Are you capable of being happy, genuinely happy for the good fortune of others? 

   Take a minute. Your first instinct will be to say "yes, of course, I am not a hater". Stop and take a deeper look. What is the first thought that comes into your mind when someone shares their good news with you? Of course your happy, but somewhere is there a voice saying "what about me?" How do you feel when a promotion you worked so hard for goes to your friend? What about when the perfect guy you have been crushing on for weeks, takes a liking to your frenemy? Or maybe you have been trying for a child for so long and your sister gets pregnant at the drop of a hat. Just think about something that you are working towards, striving for, reaching for, that is just around the corner, you are almost there, and when you look around everyone else seems to be getting it quicker than you, easier than you.  Can you celebrate with them? Really with your whole heart, do you wish them well or is a piece of you still saying "it's not fair, when will it be me"?

Its O.K.  It happens.  We all have those feelings. But now monster, now is the time to deal with them, to put them away and to really learn to be happy for others. The first step in that is to know within yourself that their good fortune and blessings do not detract from yours. You are not missing out. You are not coming up short, and that there is no shortage to the goodness of God. Take that step and get rid of the lie that tells you that you are not ever going to have what it is you want. 

The next step to really sharing in the joy of others is to stop drinking the hater-aid. Hater-aid is real its like Kool-aid only instead of sugar its laced with bitterness. We have all drank some in our time. We have all secretly thought that we were better, smarter, cuter, faster, whatever then the other person. We have all at one time or another taken pleasure in hating on somebody or on what they have done.  Quit it. Put down the glass.  With every sip you take you are blocking your own blessings. Bitterness poisons the drinker.  I am going to take this a step further and extend it to the people you don't really like. Your "enemies", your haters, your nay sayers, etc. You don't have to party with them and send them flowers but you should be happy for them, and not resent them. I know I am asking a lot of you monster, but it is only for your own good. 

 Romans 12:15- 21 tells us what we are supposed to do. "Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. Be of the same mind toward one another; do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly. Do not be wise in your own estimation. Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men. If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men. Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, “VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY,” says the Lord. “BUT IF YOUR ENEMY IS HUNGRY, FEED HIM, AND IF HE IS THIRSTY,GIVE HIM A DRINK; FOR IN SO DOING YOU WILL HEAP BURNING COALS ON HIS HEAD.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” 

Before you get all excited about the heaping of burning coals line, you have to know that it refers to the Love of God. Those coals are Love. God calls us to him with love. He uses love to convict us, to draw us, to chastise us, to bring us into His will. So you forget the images of God torturing your enemies for you. Sorry, monster.  Oh and the whole evil line that is for your haters, and you. You are going to have to do good to them, for them and love them. Sorry. 

   So now that we have cleared up some things, are you really happy about other people's blessings? Don't worry if your not, it will take some time, some prayer, and some getting into your Word. It will happen, and you monster, will be better for it. When  you get to a place where you can truly be happy for others you open up the floodgates in your own life. God is a God of relationship. He wants you to have good relationships with others, He wants to have a great relationship with you. The two are intrinsically intertwined. Jesus commanded us to Love God with our whole hearts, and to love our neighbors as ourselves. You cannot do one and ignore the other. 

So today monster, find someone, anyone, and share in their joy. Practice it daily. Until next blog, I'm happy for you and congratulations on whatever it is you accomplish today. 

Wise Choices

           

     Choices. Everyday,every hour, every minute we are faced with choices. What to wear what to eat, which bill to pay, what shoe to buy, etc. A lot of these choices really will not cause any sizable ripple in your life. You probably won't look back on your life and say, "Wow, if only I had wore the red heels instead of the black ones I would be so better off right now." Those types of choices thankfully are easy and carefree choices. If only life were so easy. 


   Then there are choices that change your life, change your direction, change your outcome. Important decisions like where to live, what type of job/career you choose, who you date, marry or have kids with.  Intricate things like whose advise you listen to, what type of people you hang around, whether or not to do something you know is wrong. These choices change your life. They color your world, in extreme cases if you make the wrong choice you could end up somewhere a lot worse then in the Between. So how do you choose? How do you pick when there is so much at stake?

   Wisdom. There is a difference between a good choice and a wise one. After three years of looking for work, I am offered a job. Now I have to make a choice. It would be a good choice to take the job, find a sitter, and work. It is good to make money. It is good to have a job. This job would be a good choice. Then the variables come in, I have to work Sundays, so I won't be able to go to church, I\ have to work some nights, so my child would be at the sitter's late into the night, my schedule will vary week to week, so she may have to quit soccer. Is it still a good choice? Enter more variables, I am not making salary, it is a minimum wage job, no benefits, varying hours, time away from my home, my child, and my church. Is it still a good choice?

      Wisdom comes from God, its listening to the Holy Spirit, and allowing Him to guide you. The truth of any situation is already in you, you just have to be still and tap into it. For my situation Wisdom tells me that my child's well being should be my priority. Psalm 127:3 Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Wisdom says that I should not give up going to church because I have to go to work. Wisdom made me stop and add up the cost, not the financial one, God has provided for me faithfully during this time and I have never lacked for anything, but the intangible one. Is it wise to put your child in someone else's  care, is it wise to miss her soccer games and practices, is it wise to spend more on child care then what you make? Wisdom looks into the future, it looks at the quality of the decision, it takes into account the effect your choice has on the ones you love, and who are dependent on you. When you view a choice through the lens of Wisdom you see that a good choice is not necessarily the right choice for you. 


     Solomon was the wisest person in the world. There has been none that equal him. Yet with all his wisdom he often made poor choices. He chose women that worshiped other gods. At the time He thought it was a good choice, He was a king, the easiest way to form alliances with other kingdoms is to marry into them. It may have been a good choice politically but as far as a wise choice, not so much. He allowed his wives' beliefs to sway his heart,  he allowed his choice to change his life. In the end He lost favor with God. His kingdom, that he worked so hard to make great was destroyed. His choices, although good, were not wise. I may not be a King, but my family, my life, is my kingdom. The choices I make affect my subjects, the values and ideals that i cultivate in my life and in my child's life will leave ripples that will outlive me and my choices. The same goes for you monster. When it is time to make a choice, you don't just want to make a good choice, you want to make a Wise one. 

Choose Wisely.